Good Fathers Vs Bad deadbeat Fathers

Granted, there are good men who pay above and beyond their required child support. They’ll go so far as to pay for accommodation and holiday expenses as well, all in a bid to make their child’s life more comfortable. They are the men who don’t use the excuse of the relationship not working out. They don’t blame it all on the woman and they know the child comes first. For those who can afford it, this is admirable and we need more of such fathers – we also take our hats off to those fathers who don’t have much but still do whatever they can to support their kids.

Sadly though, there are way too many deadbeat dads who run from their responsibilities, after spreading their seed like some sort of agricultural seed drill, then conveniently forget that they even have kids. This is such a regular phenomenon in South Africa, and the world, that mothers have taken to social websites and started organisations to share their frustrations and find ways to get these men to at least take care of their children financially. Check out www.crappydads.com, or the facebook page “Men not paying their child support.”

Now, we know that often these stories are complicated and that there are many sides to what’s going on. Women, too, should take their share of the blame and keep in mind that this world is not a free-for-all and we can’t just keep on bringing new people into it without knowing how we, or the man we’ve opened our legs for, is going to look after these screaming mouths.

We women need to show more discernment when choosing our men, because any man can make a child, but it takes a real man to look after that child. Some men, out of what can only be misguided narcissistic personality disorders, want to have as many children as possible and will say whatever it takes to get you to keep their progeny, but when it comes to one of the world’s most important decisions, you need to go with your maternal instincts. You’ll know, deep down, if that guy is a deadbeat dad in the making.

Maybe the way his fake Rolex fell off after he subjected it to too much masturbation should have been a clue. Even men in the public eye can be pretty deadbeat. You will see in almost every Sunday’s paper that some celebrity owes “pap geld”. To name just a few who’ve drummed their deadbeat rhythm across our pages: Phil Masinga the ex Bafana Bafana player, Zola the musician and TV personality, Glen Lewis the Metro FM DJ, and artist manager and promoter Prosper Mkwaiwa.

Financially independent women end up not going to the maintenance court or claiming for child support because it’s just a hassle and they’re not guaranteed of getting any money from the fathers, or it just takes too long to get it all through the courts.

Every child deserves to have a present father in their lives, its just unfair that some fathers choose to ignore their responsibilities and look the other way. Its sad sad sad!! Hey, if you were never planning to be a dad to your kid, then pay up front for that fragile bit of anti-life insurance, condoms, or we’re going to wish your daddy wore one instead of fathering you!!!